Its Not About You

pretty good week im not even sure how to explain this week. it all started with me reading a letter, it really made me question who i was and what i was doing.. i felt almost the same way i did my first week in the mission. as i was riding my bike trying to get through the day..
this song came into my head that says "its not about you", it was crazy and in the moment i realized i just need to relax..sit back for a moment cause its not about me at all, theres people out there going through much worse and they dont know where to find peace.. i need to chill.. what happened to me. im happy to still be here, we are teaching a few families that are progressing. we had a mission tour with elder Kopisckha .. i cant remember how to spell his name.. anyways we had it with 3 other zones so it was really good to see old friends and be inspired together. its been a very spiritually uplifting week. thankful to still be here.

we were out doing VLO and were passing HEB and this guy waved us down and asked for some money to get a gatorade. his name is ricky. we gave him out water we had and he told us he had walked from santa rosa over to mercedes to see his son that he hasnt seen in 5 months. santa rosa is a good 10 miles or more from where we were. this guy was tired but really wanted to see his son. he started to tell us about how he was in a coma for almost a year during his girlfriends pregnancy and his son was born while he was in a coma. he really regretted a lot in his life and all he wanted was to be there for his son.. we told him that god loves him and will forgive him and fill the hole in his heart so he could have peach in his heart and be happy.. he burst into tears and gave me a huge hug..we then walked to the dollar general and bought a powerade.. this guy went on his way after we got his info to send the missionaries. I learned a lot about unconditional love, i read an old talk from the 70's and really pondered on how i need to improve.. i dont know why its hard for me.. it sucks but there was a passage that i read that i liked.. it said.."have to learn somehow that they are more important than their mistakes; that they are worthwhile, valuable, useful; that they are loved unconditionally" that really hit me.. people have their agency and of course no one is perfect. it may be hard to see someone you really care for make a mistake that hurts them or anything.. but you still have to love them, let them know they are loved. just be there.. i guess this is something ive really lacked in. i m real sorry for all the close people in my life that i was never there for even though i knew they needed help. the atonement is there and we can make those changes. that experience with ricky really helped a lot. ive realized that i really have to act different with my district.. they are unique and i really need to show my love for them, i dont know its been very interesting. the best place to learn something is the mission.

my papi (Anderson), Me, Barnett, Scott and his mijo (Shipley)

we enjoy candles